The little things…

Well it’s Saturday and I just got home from work. After a very stressful week I am reflecting and digressing as I have grown to do on my weekends. Tonight I worked an extra long day because of all the school bills I have acquired over the past week. I need the extra cash and it was only a few extra hours. It was however a VERY long day out in the sun and I am exhausted.  Some people may laugh at me and say I have it easy working as a lifeguard on the weekends but being out in the sun all day is exhausting!  

Yesterday was a great day. I went and helped at my mom’s school for field day and I had a blast working with the students of her school. It was a small field day and the kids were young but it was fun being around them. Even the simplest activities are exciting for them and watching them have a good time is great for me. Sometimes it’s the little things in life that are the best and that’s what this post is all about. 
After field day I came home and cleaned some things up around the house. I wanted to go to yoga so bad yesterday morning but unfortunately the timing just wasn’t there. We moved the start time of field day up so that the students weren’t outside in the heat of the day. I cleaned my room and handled various other chores around the house before heading to work. I was supposed to have a handful of lessons but people canceled and I only ended up teaching two. To say the least I was a little annoyed but that’s just part of life. 
After work I showered up and headed out for the night. I went into West Chester for some sushi and had an awesome time. The sushi was delicious and I highly recommend Kooma if you are from the area. I really couldn’t have asked for a better dinner, it was AWESOME!  I went to dinner with an old friend of mine. Same old friend as before and we had such a great time. Honestly after this week, it was exactly what I needed. When I was walking back to my car I came to my floor on the parking garage and I looked at the pillars that they have by the steps. I always wished I could jump over one of them like I had seen my friends do a million times. You know where you run up and put your hands on the top and then swing your legs around. I had never had the courage to try it but last night I figured heck, let’s go for it. So I tried it…and I DID IT!! It felt awesome. You may think this sounds so little and so silly but to me, it was huge! Again, sometimes it’s the little things…
After dinner I went back to my friends house. After some back and forth I decided to go in and I am also super glad I did. We hung out for awhile and I saw her new house which is super cute. It’s funny because after all of the time that has passed, we can hangout as if there has been no time whatsoever. It was odd to be laying in her arms again yet so comforting at the same time. When we were together the ENTIRE world was against us. It was a giant storm around us at all times but when we were together none of that mattered. We could come together and just forget it all. That’s exactly what I did last night. We came together and had such a great time and I forgot about all of the things that were stressing me over the past week. I forgot about everything and just enjoyed my night, isn’t that how life is supposed to be?
Where does that leave me now you ask? Scared, lost, confused, mad and a million other emotions. We were messaging back and forth today and right in the middle of the conversation it just stopped. I found myself sitting, waiting and wishing for a message that never came and I don’t like where I am now. I can feel myself boarding the emotional roller coaster I was on before and I can’t go back there. I have shut off my Facebook and I just need to take a minute to reflect and really think about what I need. I need so much right now and I don’t want to force ANYONE into giving something that they aren’t capable of, including myself. Not to mention I don’t really want to talk to anyone right now. People who don’t ACTUALLY care about what I have been doing have found me and want to connect via Facebook basically just to check up and see what I have been doing. I don’t have time for it to be honest nor do I really care to connect with them. If we haven’t talked since high school or even better yet didn’t talk in high school, I have no interest in being your friend on some stupid social network so you can creep on me.  Tomorrow is the service for my uncle who passed away and I know it’s going to be a day filled with emotion and I am not excited about it. 
I have been slacking on my training and I can feel it. Not physically but emotionally actually. I hate skipping workouts and I don’t feel good when I do. I get very down and very emotional. I know it’s proven that my exercise helps me and I need to just make it work and keep doing it for myself. It’s funny because even after putting this all into words I feel better. I love that I started this blog and it has helped me through so much. My bike should be arriving very very soon and I am excited to get out there and start riding. I know having my bike and being able to train in the evenings and go for a ride will get my activity level back up to where it needs to be. I thank everyone for reading and the continued support. It’s amazing and great to know there are people out there going through some of the same challenges. You may consider it hypocritical because I connect with people via blogging whom I have never met but don’t want to connect with people who I went to school with, don’t judge me. I am going to lay down and attempt to forget the emotional day I have on tap for tomorrow. I hope everyone has and enjoyable and relaxing Sunday and a great start to their week. Until next time….
All for now 
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

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